


The Shitty Kirkland Brothers

by inkwells_writing



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Meeting the Parents, Overprotective Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2018-12-05 19:14:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11584407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkwells_writing/pseuds/inkwells_writing
Summary: “Shit. Fuck. I’m so dead. There goes my relationship.” Arthur thinks to himself. His relationship is about to go through the hardest trial ever: a family dinner with the Kirkland brothers.Warnings: language





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I know everyone has their own ideas on the kirkland bros and so for this fic:  
> Scotland: Alasdair (its the real scottish spelling apparently!)  
> Ireland: Seamus  
> Wales: Dylan

_Shit. Fuck. I’m so dead. There goes my relationship._ Arthur was laying in bed, staring at his ceiling. _There is no way I can get out of this. If I try, Mum will hunt him down herself._ Arthur groaned and pulled the covers over his head, muttering, “At least Alfred will be happy. Before he meets them all of course.” Arthur closed his head and hope the sheets would suffocate him. Life would be easier than having his bloody boyfriend meet his rotten brothers.

_I’m so dead._

The next morning, Arthur woke up resigned. He went down for breakfast, dressed slightly more nice than normal (even if he hated the idea, he was still asking Alfred out. He needed to look presentable), and glared at Alasdair. 

His brother, the rat who found out about his boyfriend and immediately told his mother, only smiled back at him. Of course his mother would want to meet Alfred. And honestly, he knows his mum will love Alfred. That’s not who he’s worried about. Arthur is concerned about Alfred meeting his brothers. His three older siblings constantly pester and tease him, and he knows they will not hold back embarrassing him in front of Alfred. 

But even bringing out his baby pictures will not be worse than when they get overprotective. Because Arthur is the youngest, his brother’s have it in their heads that they need to keep him safe.

_Which is utter bollocks,_ Arthur huffed, _I have been on the football team since before we moved to this country. I’m not weak, nor do I need them to “defend my honor” or whatever they are trying to do._

Arthur, instead of talking with his brothers, just steamed into his cereal as his mum gushed about that night. After reminding his mother that he hasn’t even asked if Alfred was free yet (he knew he was, him and Alfred promised to always have Fridays free for dates), Arthur said goodbye and began walking to school, Seamus and Dylan following behind him. They were both seniors, not twins, but born close enough together to be in the same grades growing up. Alasdair had just graduated, and was currently attending a college close by. 

Arthur could not wait to attend school without his brothers. 

It would finally provide him the sweet freedom he wanted. Because he loved his brothers, yes, _but sometimes..._ Arthur huffed, _sometimes they can be complete and utter pricks._

“Arthur!” 

“Hey, Arthur!” 

Arthur walked faster as his brother tried to talk to him.

“Hey, Arthur, come on. I just wanna know who your boyfriend is before he comes over.”

“Besides, I want to talk with him before tonight. Get to know him so dinner isn’t awkward!” 

Arthur rolled his eyes at Dylan’s words. “Getting to know him” almost certainly implied scared the bloody crap out of him, and in Arthur’s “honor” as well.

If there was anyone in the relationship his brother’s needed to have a conversation with, it was Arthur. He had offended his boyfriend more than once with a sharp word and crude comment when he didn’t watch his words. Alfred, luckily, was always ready to listen to his apologizes. Arthur was always the match that lit their fights (few and far between the major ones are), and he sometimes worried he’d take it too far. 

They’d only been dating since the very end of sophomore year, and Arthur was still surprised when he woke up and he hadn’t been dumped yet by the school’s stud (and serial dater, if you looked back at his dating record through eighth grade). 

And when his brother’s realized who he was dating, they would not be happy with Alfred’s track record.

“Please, Arthur, just a few hints before tonight!” Seamus begged into his year, laughing as Dylan huffed to keep pace with their fast walking. 

“You both really want a hint?” Arthur asked as they reached school campus.

His brothers chimed an agreement.

Arthur headed towards the library, before turning and shouting a quick, “He’s blonde!” and heading into the library.

Arthur made his way to the secluded back of the library, content in knowing his brother’s would be off with their own friends, and sat in the same chair as he always did. 

Not seconds later, a bright laughed was ringing in his ears. The chair next to him was quickly occupied and Arthur turned to the embodiment of sunshine that had sat next to him.

“Hey Arthur! Morning!” Alfred F. Jones, quarterback and AP student, smiled at him. 

“Alfred, I’ve got a request of you.” Arthur said, looking out the window of the library to avoid eye contact.

Put off by Arthur’s lack of greeting, Alfred’s brow furrowed in concern, “Hey, what’s up, Artie?”

“My brother saw the texts on my phone last night and found out that I’m in a relationship and told my mother.”

Alfred frowned and said, “Oh, Arthur, that sucks. I know you wanted to keep us on the down-low. Your mom isn’t mad that you’re dating a guy right?”

Arthur laughed, “No, no. She’s ecstatic that I’m dating someone.” He grew silent again, still staring out the window. 

Tilting his head in a confused manner, Alfred asked, “Wait, then what’s wrong?”

“She’s inviting you over for dinner tonight.”

At that, Alfred’s smile came back full force, “Really! I’ll get you meet your family! Wait, what should I wear? Should I bring a dish for dinner or-”

Arthur cut Alfred off, “Dress nice, bring a small dessert if you want, and I’m going to apologize in advance.”

“For what, Artie?”

Arthur scoffed, “For my brothers. You know them, I assume.”

Alfred nodded, “Of course. Dylan, he’s the history nerd; Seamus, he’s like, super into art; and Alasdair was on the soccer team before he graduated, right?”

“Nice to know you’ve been listening.”

“Of course! But I still don’t know why you’re apologizing for them.”

Arthur glared at the window, as if it had personally offended him, “They’re the reason I want to keep us quiet. If they find out, which they did, they’ll get super overprotective.”

Alfred laughed, “They can’t be that bad.”

“I’m their youngest brother, Alfred. They’ve got it in their heads that since I cried a lot as a kid, I still do so. To them I'm some delicate flower who needs to be protected. Plus, everyone in the school knows of you, and of your past relationship with, well, relationships.”

Arthur could see Alfred’s reflection glare, “Arthur, you know I don’t go around dating everyone anymore. We’ve talked about it, and you know I was just like, in a rough place, and like, it’s-”

]

“Alfred, I know this. But my bloody stupid brother’s don’t and they’re going to give you a hell of a time. Maybe you should feign ill…” He trailed off, trying to think of an excuse that would prevent Alfred from ever meeting his family.

Alfred smiled and hugged Arthur from behind, “I’ll be fine. Oh!”

Arthur turned to look at his boyfriend at his exclamation, “What?”

“This means I can start telling people that I’m dating you right!” Alfred’s hopeful smile made Arthur sigh.

“Yes, yes. I didn’t want Seamus of Dylan to hear about us, but since that doesn’t matter anymore, you can tell your friends. After today, though. I don’t want them knowing until after the dinner.”

“Can I hold your hands?”

“Yes.”

“Can we sit together at lunch?”

“I still like to be in the theater, but I suppose we can start sitting outside some days and inside the others if you want.”

“Can I kiss you in the halls?”

Arthur blushed at the excitement in Alfred’s eyes, “Maybe.”

Alfred laughed and gave Arthur a peck on the cheek as the bell rang. 

They both sighed and grabbed their backpacks as Arthur spoke up, “I’ll text you the time for tonight later. And if you must bring a dish, my mother adores a good tart.”

Alfred nodded quickly and pulled out his phone as he walked away.

Arthur smiled fondly, _He’s probably asking his brother what a tart is._ Arthur then sighed and walked to his first class, _Poor dear is going to get destroyed tonight._

\----

“Seamus, set the table! Dylan, please put on a nicer shirt than that hideous thing. Alasdair, dear, could you watch the shepherds pie while I get changed as well? And Arthur, go find some nice roses for the vase on the table, please.”

A chorus of “yes mum” rang through the Kirkland household as the family prepared for the arrival of Arthur’s boyfriend. Their mother had been working them to death to make the house and food presentable enough for Alfred.

Arthur had been spared most of the workload, claiming important class homework was due that night, and Arthur knew his brother’s were (at least a little) regretting the decision to tell their mother that Arthur was in a relationship.

_Yes_ , Arthur hummed as he clipped the stems off of some of the nicer roses, _there is some justice in this world._

As Arthur walked back inside, he delicately arranged the flowers. He glanced at Seamus who was trying to make the table look perfect and smirked, “Having fun, brother?”

Seamus took his taunt in stride, “Can’t wait to meet Mr. Blondie. We all made bet’s on who it is. Dylan said the German kid in your science class, but my money’s on the French kid who was in the musical with you last year.”

Alasdair's gruff voice chimed in from the kitchen. “I’m telling them it’s the American exchange student.” Arthur froze for a second, wondering how Alasdair found out, when his brother continued, “Only he would use the word “dude” when texting someone.” 

_How many texts did he have time to read before I caught him?_ Arthur steamed, thinking back to the panic he had felt when he had found his brother reading his phone.

Seamus scoffed, “It’s a common phrase nowadays.”

Dylan used this opportunity to walk into the room, “Alasdair said the contact name was under ‘Duck’ and that doesn’t give us very many clues. But I know Arthur likes studs, and that German guy in your chem class is pretty strong looking.”

Arthur blushed before hissing out, “I hate the lot of you. You’re all evil.”

His brother’s laughed as they continued to work. Not a minute later, however, the doorbell rang. The household was silent before everyone ran towards the door, eager to see who it was. They were stopped by the sound of their mother's voice, “Oh, dear, for me? You’re too kind young man! I can see why Arthur likes you!”

A familiar, and calming, voice rang out through the house. The person's words were lost, but it spurred Arthur forwards. 

He rounded the corner to see Alfred, dressed in his nice black dress pants, a cream button up, and a blue tie (that brought out his eyes), with his hair neatly combed back. Arthur rolled his eyes; he must have texted Francis for wardrobe help. 

Arthur’s mother was currently cooing over the beautiful bouquet Alfred had just handed her. Alfred’s dimples were showing as he spoke, “Arthur has talked a lot about the symbolism of different flowers, so I made sure that the one’s I picked out meant something! And I had my mothers helped me with the tart. It’s apple!”

Arthur’s mother looked ready to adopt Alfred by the look she gave him when he said that. Arthur was about to speak up when Alfred looked over and saw him, 

“Arthur! You look nice tonight.”

Arthur smiled, “Thank you. Do you want to come in?” 

As Arthur asked that, his mother gasped, “Oh, yes, yes. Terribly sorry, dear. 

Please, have a seat in the living room. The pie is almost finished. Arthur, show him the the living room!”

As his mother bustled away, Arthur smiled at his boyfriend, “Apple tart? How’d you make one on such a short notice?”

Alfred smiled, “My mama has been wanted to make an apple pie, so she helped me change the recipe. I told my other mom what types of flowers had nice symbolism and she helped me make the bouquet look nice.”

“Who helped with the suit?”

Alfred blushed, “Matthew said he’d lay an outfit on my bed before I left.”

Arthur laughed as they entered the living room, “So everyone pitched in?” 

Alfred was about to answer when, like sharks who smell blood, Arthur’s brother’s entered the room from the kitchen. 

Alasdair's voice rung out first, “Ha! I knew it was him!”

Dylan eyed the space (or lack thereof) between Arthur and Alfred on the couch, “Could have sworn it wasn’t him…”

Alfred quickly stood as Arthur’s brothers lined up in front of the couch. “Hi! Nice to meet all of you. Arthur has spoken a lot about you,” Alfred said with a smile as he held out his hand.

Arthur stood, “Yes, Alasdair, Seamus, Dylan, this is Alfred. Alfred, my brothers.”

Alfred quickly shook their hands (barely even flinching at the white knuckled grip his brother’s squeezed his hand with.) Arthur glared at his brothers, a small reminder of how pissed he would be if they were rude to Alfred.

“So, Alfred. Tell me about yourself,” Alasdair began, ignoring Arthur’s silent warning. Arthur sighed and sat down, dragging Alfred down next to him.

With a large smile on his face, Alfred began to talk about his hobbies. He talked about his spot on the football team, and quickly answered Dylan’s questions about his family. The questions were easy and simple, and Arthur began to relax.

_Maybe my brothers actually love me and don’t want to scare my boyfriend away._

Of course, with Arthur’s luck, as soon as that thought crossed his mind, Seamus had to prove him wrong. 

“So Alfred, what’s up with your string of past relationships.”

Alfred eyes widened and he looked like he had no idea how to answer, but was saved as Arthur’s mother called from the dining room, “Everyone, the food is ready!”

Arthur shot upwards and practically dragged Alfred to the dinning room, his brothers right behind them.

As they sat down, Alfred gave his brilliant smile and said, “Wow, Mrs. Kirkland, this all looks amazing!” 

She chuckled, “Please, call me Eleanor. Now, I really must ask, how did you and my son meet? He’s been very secretive and doesn’t want to tell me anything.”

Arthur began to blush and busied himself with serving himself salad and pie as Alfred spoke. “Well, Miss Eleanor, me and your son technically met freshman year when we both took the drama class, but we got together at the end of last year. He’d noticed I had went to, well, almost all of that week’s performances for the musical, and when I had seen him after my football game, I kinda sought him out and asked him out.”

Arthur scoffed, “I didn’t go to the football game to see you, Francis dragged me there to see your brother. You just happened to be on the team.” 

Dylan laughed from across the table, “Oh, Arthur, don’t lie to your boyfriend. It’s rude.”

Their mother snapped at Dylan to be polite before turning back to Alfred, 

“You’re on the football team! I’m assuming you mean American football, right?”

Alfred beamed, “Yup! I’m not very good at soccer, unlike Arthur. I still have no idea how he balances soccer practice and theater practices. It’s pretty amazing.”

And so the night continued. Arthur’s brothers were kept in line by their mother, and Arthur only suffered minimal embarrassment when Alasdair reminded their mom of the scrapbook she had been making. Alfred seemed happy, and not at all scared away. Arthur looked at Alfred, who was sitting next to him on the couch, and smiled. He was currently laughing at a picture of a young Arthur, who was dressed in a miniature suit. _Yes,_ Arthur thought, _tonight wasn’t as bad as I had expected._

“Well, I think I’m going to head upstairs for the night. I need to head out early tomorrow to catch my plane, I work abroad on occasion, so I am terribly sorry I can’t see you out tonight, dear. Send your mothers my compliments for that amazing tart!” And as Arthur’s mother shook Alfred’s hand and walked away, Arthur knew his good luck had come to an end. 

The room was silent and everyone was still until Alasdair smirked, “Okay, now then. I believe Seamus asked you a question that got interrupted by dinner.”

Alfred froze. Arthur knew the reasoning for Alfred’s string of brokenhearted exes, and he knew it was not his brother’s place to be asking. Alfred had been having issues at home, and it was hard enough for Alfred to tell Arthur so that night in the park, and Arthur would not force Alfred to sit here and explain it all again to people who were practically strangers. 

“Listen,” Arthur stood up, interrupting Alfred to had just began to speak, “I know you all don’t trust him, and I know you three wouldn’t trust anyone I brought home, but I need you to know that we have talked and we trust each other. Honestly, I am perfectly capable of protecting myself and you three don’t need to butt your heads into my business all the time. I care about Alfred and I’m not letting you scare him away.” Arthur grabbed Alfred’s hand and began walking to the door. 

“Arthur, wait.” Four voices chimed out in unison. Arthur stopped, only because Alfred’s voice rang out above his (asshole) brother’s. He turned, looking into Alfred eyes. 

“I don’t mind explaining myself. I wanna get your family’s approval, ya’ know?” Alfred sounded entirely sincere. Arthur felt himself blush, _God, I am so helpless with this boy._

Alasdair shook his head, “No, no. If it’s that personal, keep it to yourself.”

Dylan piped up, “Just don’t do the same to our brother and you’re good.”

Alfred beamed, turning back to Arthur, “Dude, this is awesome!”

The room was silent, until Seamus began shaking his head, “Nope. No, no, no. You just called him dude. I’m sorry but I can’t give my approval to someone who uses ‘dude’ romantically.” 

Alasdair and Dylan murmured their agreements.

Scowling at his brothers, Arthur began to actually drag Alfred towards the door, “I hate all three of you and Alfred is leaving right now.”

Alfred waved. “Nice to meet all of you?” He said with a questioning tone.

As they went through front door, Arthur turned to Alfred, “I am so sorry for all of that.”

Alfred laughed, “Dude, the way you were acting made me think that they were gonna kill me. Like, major overprotective and knives and shit.” 

Arthur laughed bitterly, “Mum’s home, so they had to tone it down. If I were you, I’d watch out on Monday. Seamus and Dylan are probably memorizing your entire schedule right now.”

Alfred leaned down and hugged Arthur, whispering into his ear, “I’ll deal with whatever they throw at me if it means they approve of me doing this.” And Alfred kissed Arthur.

Arthur quickly put his arms around Alfred’s neck, pulling away quickly, blushing heavily. “Ah, fuck. They are totally watching that through the window.”

Alfred nuzzled Arthur’s cheek with his nose, “Maybe they’ll learn something’.”

Arthur scoffed, “Yeah, from me.”

“Wasn’t implying anything otherwise.”

]

They shared another quick, chaste kiss, before they said quick goodbyes. Arthur waved and walked into his house, coming face-to-face with Dylan and Seamus. 

Arthur scowled at his brothers, “I’m going to bed.”

Dylan smirked, “Not going to wait up for Alasdair?”

Arthur turned abruptly, “Where did Alasdair go?”

Seamus piped up, “Your little boyfriend is getting a companion for the walk home.”

Arthur whispered a quiet _fuck_ and tried to run out the door, only for his (asshole) brothers to hold him back. 

“I hate all three of you. I’m going to convince Mum to write you out of the will.”

His brothers only laughed. 

“Love you too, brother.”


	2. The Walk Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alfred just walked to walk home, but Arthur's brother's need to make one more thing clear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone requested to know what happened on the walk home so I wrote this short thingyy!!

Alfred practically skipped down the sidewalk, humming happily. _That went so well! Ignoring the part where I was sorta threatened, of course._

Arthur’s mom seemed to love him! The tart definitely helped- he’d have to thank his mama again for helping make it. And even Arthur’s brother’s weren’t as bad as he had expected- Arthur had been pretty over dramatic. 

Honestly, the things he had implied his brothers would do were so unlikely. Even Alasdair, who easily could have played the part of dangerous older brother was nice. Alfred was choosing to ignore the part where they tried to pry into his past, they apologized anyway. 

“Alfred.”

Alfred stumbled, not expecting anyone to say his name this late at night. He turned to see Alasdair standing behind him. _Speak of the devil._

“Uh, hello? What’s up?” Alfred asked, suddenly very uncomfortable.

“Listen, you seem like a nice guy,” Alasdair began, “But that doesn’t mean anything.”

Alfred smiled awkwardly, assuming he knew where this was going, “I’m not going to just dump Arthur or anything and-”

“I said listen.” Alasdair cut Alfred off. “As much as I think you believe that you would never do that, Arthur is still my baby brother. When our dad left, it hurt him the most. I’m not going into details- it’s not my place- but you to understand something.”

Alfred nodded, “What?”

“If you have any doubts about your relationship, if you think you’re going to wake up and no longer want to try for this relationship, if it gets too hard one day and you decide to leave, tell me now. I don’t want this relationship to grow if it’s not mutual. Because I’ve seen Arthur in relationships before, and he hasn’t looked this invested and happy with one, ever. And I don’t want to have the be the one to clean up the mess when you decide that you don’t lo-”

“Alasdair. I understand what you’re trying to do- but there is no need. I really, really care about Arthur. I wouldn’t just… leave him like you’re saying I will. I don’t mean to be rude when I say this, but you don’t fucking know me. You have never met me before tonight and so I don’t think you should be treating me as if I would just up and walk away from Arthur as if he never mattered to me.” Alfred snapped. 

He was insulted and Alasdair would think so little of him. He understood that he cared about his brother, but Alfred also needed Alasdair to know that he wasn’t just some idiot who was messing around with some high school fling. 

Alasdair looked shocked, but Alfred was tired. “Look, I need to get home before my moms get worried. If you’re really concerned with me being a huge dick to Arthur, come talk to me another time.” As Alfred began to walk away, Alfred spoke over his shoulder, “And tell Arthur I said goodnight.”

There was no response, and Alfred began to panic, _Fuck I was way to aggressive wasn’t I? He’s going to be pissed and he probably thinks I’m some asshole fo-_

“I think I may have judged you wrong, Alfred. I’ll see you around.” Alasdair called back to him. 

Alfred sighed and kept walking, _Maybe I didn’t fuck up? That seemed to be acceptance?_

He shook his head and let himself follow the path home he had walked many times before.

When he finally did get home, he was bombarded by his moms and his brother asking him how it went. Alfred smiled and answered their questions-

“Yes, mom, I was polite.”

“Yeah, mama, she loved the tart.”

“Ew, Matthew shut up!”

“Yeah! We should have Arthur over for dinner again sometime.”

When the interrogation was over, Alfred headed back to his room. For once, he was tired of being the center of attention. Unless it was Arthur’s attention, of course. He flopped down on his bed and pulled out his phone, laughing at the numerous missed calls from Arthur.

He smiled and called his boyfriend back.

“Alfred! What did my brother say to you? I swear I’m going to bloody kill him-”

Yeah, Alfred wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im on tumblr too!! @inkwells-writing !! check me out for my complaining about how i dont write and you can request stuff there!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! Hope you enjoyed it!! Kudos/comments are very much appreciated!! I'm inkwells-writing on tumblr if you wanna check me out and follow!!


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